Happy Birthday to my bride of 26 plus years

Happy Birthday to my Wife. She is celebrating her 39th Birthday for the 8th time.
As I was sitting in my office working away I get a phone call from my wife. She is inviting me up to her floor to eat lunch. She adds to the conversation, Today's my birthday and you have not said happy birthday to me. So I responded, I have not been up to your unit yet, happy birthday. I told her I would see her later and hung up. My Sgt., a female, responds to me in the following manner. " I know you didn't. I said, didn't what? She said, Didn't say happy birthday to your wife like that. She further added the dreaded, What did you get her? To which I replied, Nothing. My Sgt., then advises me to go to the gift shop and get her something no matter what it is, how much it cost, you better get her something nice too. A more stricter Captain would have advised the Sgt. how the rank structure works and went on. However her argument was a valid one. So... I get up and go to the gift shop. Once there I look around to find there is a limited amount of gift ideas there. After all we are a Women and Children's Hospital facility. I find a balloon that has a photo of flowers and the phrase Happy Birthday across it. As I approach the counter to pay and the volunteer lady asked me if I wanted to get something else to go with the Balloon. I responded, No, the balloon should be enough. She immediately began to make suggestions. How about some chocolates. I said, no ma'am, I have been married to her for over 26 years, she would not want chocolates. She is very unusual in that she does not want me spending money like that. The manager of the gift shop, whose husband used to be my Lieutenant before going to the Police Department, came and advised me to get something. She asked if my wife liked to read. I said yes but the author she reads after probably is not on your lists. She insist I go look. I did and the first book I saw was written by Rev. Tony Evans. The title was, "The woman's place in the Home." I picked it up and read the content. Here it is: How to Seduce your husband. How to be subjective to your husband. How to please your husband. I had a thought, Man, that is the perfect gift for my wife. I went back to the counter and placed the book on the top counter and said, I think I'll get her this one. The volunteer picked up the book read the title, read the back panel and let out a little sound. I am not sure what it was, but it was not an approving one. The book was shown to the manager. She read the cover, looked at the back and suggested I get something else. So...... I got the balloon and a roll of Lifesavers gummies. Proud of myself I went upstairs to have lunch with my wife and give her the balloon and the roll of lifesavers. (I used them as a counterweight for the balloon, functional and tasty). The ladies at the desk were oohing. I went back to where she was and one of the other workers saw the balloon and said, How Sweet. My wife saw the balloon and said, Lifesavers, why didn't you get chocolate... Oh well, what do I know anyway. At least I got the date right. I can here dear ole Sister Walls now saying...."Lord Bless"